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I'm disgusted with myself!

September 16th, 2005 at 02:58 pm

I really am! I have been using this new budgeting and going over our bills etc. and realized that I have been spending much more than I should the past 30 days (and before that too I'm sure!). I honestly didn't think I was doing that badly...and the thing is that with Mvelopes there really is no excuse, but I was abusing the system...that's the only way I know to say it! It was obvious I was going over the amount allotted in certain categories but even with Mvelopes I was able to rationalize and tell myself it was all balancing out.

The only way it was balancing out is that I started getting these overdraft notices...and I kept tellinig myself it was just the timing of our checks (4) and payments and that I could correct that! Well, that was partly it but as I went through my purchases, I realized that I have simply been spending way too much! It is more noticeable to me now that we are using cash for our day-to-day purchases. We were paying off the credit cards that we used for daily expenses every month, but it was draining our checking account to do it!

I wasn't being extravagant like I used to do in the past...but I was still over spending...just in more subtle ways...going a little over on groceries. And buying clothing (this is rare that I buy clothes but I did last month) that I needed but couldn't afford. Suddenly I could see what I was doing and was very upset with myself!

I confessed all this to my dh. Most of it was me...I thought I was working it all out, had it all under control so had rationalized I could afford it. SO WRONG!! So we are DEFINETLY going all cash now! No longer am I giving myself any leeway for rationalizing overspending! I have done a lot of changing the last several years, but it is amazing how much I have changed just the last 16 days!

So today I cut up the credit cards. Only card in my wallet now is my debit card. I have never liked using it but will only use it when I really have to use a card, like I forget my cash or checkbook. My dh is doing the same thing except he is keeping his AMEX that he ONLY uses to buy gas at Costco ...he is keeping it until he knows he can use his debit card at Costco. They do not accept cash and are often the cheapest gas station here. If he finds he can use his debit card, we will cut and cancel that card as we have no balance on it. We do have some auto-payments going on some of our other cards so will keep those accts open for that reason to get the rewards. As we can use our free air tickets we have already earned, we will cancel some more, but that will happen more gradually. Then we have a few we are paying off balances on so we will keep those open until they are paid.

I did not spend any money again today, but my dh spent $7.17 for oil as he has to change the oil in the car.

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